Connecting With the One You Love couples workshop

Margy Wakefield will present a couples workshop in Brisbane in November.

See the Events page for more details.

Lorraine’s Notes From The Netherlands And Vienna

October and November of 2007 proved to be very exciting and interesting months for me, so I am taking this opportunity to share the time with you.

During October I travelled to The Netherlands and connected with a friend and colleague Laurie Hugelmeyer. We presented two Imago Connects Workshops, one in The Hague and the other in Amsterdam.

Both workshops were well attended and the responses of the participants were amazing. It is wonderful to hear participants using Imago techniques at the completion of a workshop.

I have to say that for me the experience was simultaneously exciting and humbling. It truly is a privilege to witness participants opening their hearts and minds to the Imago process and being eager to learn more.

It was also in The Netherlands that I had the privilege to meet Harville Hendrix for the first time. Laurie and I had organised for him to do some book signing at the American Book Store in Amsterdam and The Hague. These events were well attended. Dr Hendrix is an amazing speaker. He had the audience enthralled as he spoke about his work with Imago.

Harville Hendrix and Lorraine Woods in The Netherlands

The opportunity to speak with Dr Hendrix at a personal level was a valuable experience that expanded my knowledge of Imago, and opened the way to future learning.

I was particularly impressed by his quietly calm manner, his deep respect for and understanding of the human experience, and the paramount importance of the healing power of intimate relationships.

From The Netherlands I travelled on to the Imago International Conference in Vienna. The hospitality of the Viennese Therapists who had organised the conference was amazing. The welcome was apparent immediately upon arrival at the hotel.

The conference provided information in relation to the future direction of the Imago Relationship International (IRI). Conference papers and workshops provided information at both the intellectual and experiential level.

The conference also offered the opportunity to meet with Imago Therapists from all corners of the world, in itself a very enriching experience.

On a personal level, I was inspired by the conference to continue to build my Imago practice here in Brisbane, and to provide efficient and effective therapy of the highest ethical standard.

Lorraine, January 2008

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The following article was written by Erik De Wit, and published in Brisbane’s City North News, on the 15th of March 2007.

Woods Helps End Conflict

Power struggles are not just fought between countries, politicians or colleagues. They are just as likely to occur in the bedroom.

Just ask Wooloowin relationship therapist Lorraine Woods.

But Mrs Woods does not believe all relationships will inevitably head along the road of doom and gloom.

This is why she will hold Imago relationship sessions for six weeks at The Community Place, at Wooloowin, from April 18.

Mrs Woods said committed couples could work through their lack of communication, irritation, disagreements and uncertainty about where their relationship was headed.

Every couple goes through a so-called power struggle when the in-love phase comes to an end about 18 months to two years into a relationship.

"People find themselves in conflict about everything," Mrs Woods said.

"Everything that was nice about the other person become the very things that are irritating. But many couples work through the power struggle and go to a deeper level. They become committed to working with their partner to improve the relationship."

Mrs Woods said one of the keys to improving a relationship was empathy.

"You are not required to agree, but understand why your-partner sees some thing a particular way. Try to see the world through your partner's eyes. It will help you to understand why they act in a certain way.

"You need to stretch to meet the needs of your partner and grow yourselves.

"You do this through listening, being practical and making specific requests."

Mrs Woods said trouble often surfaced when couples married and subconsciously took on the mannerisms they saw in their parents.

"She thinks, 'my mum and aunties acted this way'. She had been learning from people around her."

Relationship Phases

The in-love phase, which lasts about 18 months to two years.
The fading of the in-love phase brings a power struggle, with conflict and partners finding each other irritating.
Working through the power struggle will result in a commitment to work with a partner to improve the relationship.

Signs of Trouble

Communication goes out the window.
The mannerisms that were once charming become irritating.
Partners cannot agree on anything.
There is uncertainty of where the relationship is going.
Partners think that, if things do not change, the relationship is doomed to come to an end.

Break-down

Steps to dealing with a relationship break-down -

Anger.
Denial.
Taking a blow to self-esteem.
Sense of loss, with the realisation the dream is coming to an end.

Fixing a Relationship

Create a relationship vision.
Learn to communicate.
Revisit your childhood.
Identify any childhood wounds or relationship lessons learned in childhood.
Allow romance back into the relationship.
Deal with frustrations in the relationship.
Resolve rage.

City North News (Brisbane), 15th of March, 2007

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